Today actually started pretty well. I stuck to my new a.m. routine and then went to collect data (i.e., test preschoolers) this morning. I had fun with a few kids, stayed patient with the more trying ones, and had some nice exchanges with the teachers. Came home to check a few other things off my to-do list and then spent the rest of the afternoon with my friend and her new (and very cute) baby. All in all, not much to complain about.
So I don’t know exactly what triggered it, but shortly after I got home I fell into a funk. Not a terrible, curl-into-a-ball-and-wonder-if-life-is-worth-living funk. More of a I-just-want-to-eat-ice-cream-and-do-nothing funk. Maybe it’s a delayed reaction to the time change- I do remember that today was the first time I really noticed how early it got dark. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been sticking with my daily yoga challenge. (More on that in a moment.)
Really, when it comes to these occasional blah moods, it doesn’t matter what triggered it. Instead of spending my time trying to understand it, I focus on finding the way to help myself get out of it. Sometimes, the right answer is to allow myself a night of eating ice cream and doing nothing. But those are best reserved for Fridays. I know letting myself do that tonight would only make me feel worse in the morning. And yes, there are times that throwing myself into exercise helps. But I’ve also had nights where I’ve forced myself to do yoga and it does not go well. If I am feeling anxious, stressed, or angry, yoga seems to help. If I’m feeling sad, however, the stillness and quiet seems to just bring it more to the surface. More active things like taking a walk are better for fighting sadness, but tonight that didn’t feel like the right answer either.
The important thing is to stop for a minute. Not stopping and doing nothing, but stopping to take the time to listen to myself and hear what it is that will really make me feel better. In this case, it was being quiet, cleaning up the kitchen, fixing dinner (and allowing it to be nutritious but not terribly exciting), and studying statistics. Not because stats in itself makes me feel better (although I do love it), but because it’s something proactive that I need to do and will make me feel good tomorrow when I have to spend less time on it.
Ah yes, the yoga thing. I managed to do it Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Then didn’t on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Yeah, they were busy days, but I can’t really blame it on that- I certainly could have allowed time for yoga… I just chose not to. But I did do it yesterday. It’s yet to be determined whether it will happen today. Setting the goals of both writing daily and doing yoga daily may have just been too much to attempt at once. So I’m sticking with trying to write every day this month. That doesn’t mean I won’t be setting the goal of exercise for each day- I’m just not focusing on achieving 30 consecutive days. Maybe next month’s challenge will be daily yoga. Who am I kidding? December is a terrible time to try that. Uh, we’ll revisit this idea in January….