Coffee Was a Bad Choice

I know, I know.  I said I was going to post something every day this month.  And I let Friday and Saturday sneak by without posting anything.  Actually, I did have the Chicken Tagine post ready to go last night sans photographs, and just didn’t get around to uploading the pictures until this morning.  So that counts for yesterday.  Friday, other the other hand, remains unaccounted for.  Maybe I’ll double-up another day this month and will still finish November with 30 blog entries.  Or maybe I’ll let it go and move on.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

I’m also about to break my rule here about talking about “anything but academia.”  Since it’s more of a “life as a grad student” thing rather than a “hey, I’m super-excited about this article I just read about parental scaffolding and children’s executive functioning and I want to tell you about it” thing, I think it’s okay.  Although you never know… maybe that scaffolding article will find its way into my blog one of these days….

It’s getting to that point of the semester when the panic is lurking.  It hasn’t set in, but I can see it there, hovering outside my window, just waiting to sneak in when I let it.  Going to Starbucks and having a latte while reading a bunch of articles didn’t help at all.  I’m trying to put together a research proposal (it’s for a class paper, but it would be lovely if it was something I could use towards my actual research) and the more I read, I realize two things:

  • There is soooo much more that I still haven’t read.
  • Everything I think I might want to research has already been done or is currently being done.

I’m usually good at dealing with these thoughts.  Yes, there is always more I could be reading.  But when I think about the binders of articles I’ve accumulated in the last year, I remind myself how much information and knowledge I have already accumulated in a fairly short time period.  The rest will come.  As far as finding exactly what  to research goes, that will come, too.

Still, there are times – particularly when I am overwhelmed with other parts of school and life in general – when the thoughts get more intrusive and it’s harder to push them away.  Today is one of those days.  Caffeine does not help.  As I try to focus on reading papers to discuss in class, all I can think about is my plan of attack for this proposal- what to read next, how to organize what I have so far.  The screaming child in Starbucks did not help, either.

I don’t really have any concluding thoughts to wrap this up neatly.  What I do know is that I am more likely to feel better about things if I make some more progress today, rather than devoting another 15 minutes to writing a satisfactory conclusion.  So, I’m going to stop here, awkwardly, so that I can go back to working on this project….

… I’m still here.  I hate abrupt conclusions.

“No, you hang up!”

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3 Comments

Filed under Life, My Crazy Mind

3 responses to “Coffee Was a Bad Choice

  1. Two Lols: “hey, I’m super-excited about this article I just read …” and “No, you hang up!” 😀 😀

    Definitely understand the voice that tells you judgmental things about what you don’t know enough of while you spend time trying to know enough. But usually you do – I’ve been told that it’s a matter of learning how to trust yourself. Mostly to trust yourself to take risks of looking stupid by sharing what you know with others and then finding out the little you need more of that way. It’s not as much as you think.

    Umm, the food below looks amazing.

    Abrupt conclusion. 🙂

  2. Alicia Brands

    Umm… my teacher/grad student interest is peaked. Can you send me the article? It won’t count as going against Anything But Academia since it won’t be in your blog. Sound logic, right?

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